Happy New Year (and 5 things I never want to hear about in 2018)

Happy New Year to everyone!

Hard to believe the Earth did it again, orbiting the Sun like that, amazing! It’s always a bit of a myopic view we humans have when we say, “I can’t believe another year has past.” Because you know a year has passed every year for what 4 billion of them? Our surprise in this is really the only surprising thing.

In that spirit of curmudgeony, one of my new years resolutions is going to be more honest with myself and with others and with the work I create. So to start that off here’s a list of 5 things that have irritate me lately and I don’t want to hear about again in 2018. So in the spirit of new resolutions and Festivus’ airing of the grievances…

  1. Unicorns. I hate that stupid phrase meaning “A unicorn is a startup company valued at over $1 billion. The term was coined in 2013 by venture capitalist Aileen Lee, choosing the mythical animal to represent the statistical rarity of such successful ventures.” (wikipedia) That’s cool and all, but I hate it, Unicorns are stupid (unless they are in the old classic game Archon, in that case they kick butt). Unicorns? Come on, Manticores, Beholders and Sasquatch are all mythical animals and are way cooler.
  2. “X” for brands. I see Spotify and other services say how their service can help companies and organizations be successful, but why do they have to use the trite phrase brands, just say companies and be satisfied with that. Spotify for brands, Pintrest for brands, oatmeal for brands, just stop already. (Okay the last one is made up but who knows anymore?
  3. But this time, it’s one of their own... I hate, hate HATE TV shows that lead sweeps with one of their characters getting shot, kidnapped or arrested in faux jeopardy. Only Dallas ever got away with it because being first is important.
  4. Random NFL Football rule – I have watched American football since I was a little kid and I feel I have a pretty good grasp of the game. But why is it that in almost every game there is some bizarre rule I’ve never heard of that makes no sense cost a team a game. That’s why the NFL’s ratings are declining, no one can understand the rules anymore.
  5. “X” celebrity tweeted – any journalist quoting a celebrities tweet about a topic the celebrity have no real connection with or expertise in. I don’t want to be a jerk but does it really matter if some random movie star or rapper tweeted condolences to some recent tragedy? I mean it’s nice I suppose, but is it news?

Okay, got those things off my chest, Happy New Year, Happy Festivus and get off my lawn!